Last Thought of the Day

I bought the believe CD of Emile Pandolfi. His piano describes exactly how I feel.

the last thought of the day...

Although my therapist didn't come out and say it, she may as well have said "to be loved you must change."

Most people can't love someone with low self esteem she said.

Thing is I have a mixture of self esteem. I'm an intelligent deep thinker. No self esteem issues there. Too nice, perhaps too sweet. Insecure..... I don't think the qualities I have are really attractive for the long haul. I fear the goodbyes. I don't know how not to fear them. Maybe the fear itself drove her away. Maybe there was someone else. Maybe I really am a monster. Maybe I'll never know.

Lost...

Sometimes I have to fight the urge to send her an email, tell her I love her, that I would move heaven and earth to make it work. Such an urge I have now.


The spring semester starts tomorrow.